Duct Tape and Diapers

Katie is trying to get this whole potty thing down.  So far, it's not working...for me. 

When we get her up in the morning and go to change her clothes, she tries to sit on the potty and get the morning pee-pee's out.  Sometimes it works and she gets really excited.  Other times she just sits there and tries, but nothing happens.  She still gets excited at the imaginary pee-pee.

We put her pull-ups on and her clothes for the day.  I think that our potty time is over for a little while and I can go about other business, but Katie has other plans.

Last week I got all the kids dressed and was working on trying to get Jordan to get dressed and ready for school.  He is 12 after all and should be able to do this on his own by now.  (Ha! What makes me think that?)  I take 5 seconds to focus on Jordan and making sure that he is in his proper school clothing, his hair is brushed, his backpack packed, lunch packed, etc.  I turn to wrangle Nick and Katie in to the car and Katie has stripped every single bit of clothing off and is in the bathroom jumping up and down.

I start to wonder if maybe I am going crazy.  I swear she already went potty and then I dressed her and we were all ready to go.  Jordan is still "piddle-farting around" (a phrase I got from my mother) so I dress Katie again and don't let her out of my sight as I load her in to the car to wait for Jordan to finish getting dressed.  He has only been awake for an hour and is mad at me for running out of time.

It never seems to fail that as soon as I start to do the dishes or cook dinner that Katie decides this is when she is going to sneak off to the bathroom and strip down to her birthday suit and try to go potty.  I would normally have no problem with this, but when she does it and I'm not aware, it is usually because she has pooped in her pull-up.  She pulls it off, throws it in the bathroom sink and then runs around the house with poop stuck to her butt.  I have to then follow her trail picking up the poop that she has dropped behind her. 

Last night I went in to the kitchen to get her and Nick a snack.  She came running in to the kitchen, naked and holding her pull-up.  She screams, "I POOP!!  I POOP!!"  I look in to the pull-up, and it is empty.  I think maybe she is just confused. So I go to the bathroom and half way there I find a giant turd on the carpet.  It is still warm when I pick it up.  Oh the joys of parenthood!!  I talk to her about how the poop needs to go in the potty.  So she sits down on her potty for a half second, stands up and screams, "I POOP!" 

I am over potty training.  I am no good at it.  I really want to go back to diapers and just wrap duct tape around them so she can't get them off until I want them to come off. 

She still has to wear her pajamas backwards at bed and nap time.  I have tried a few times to see if she over the phase of stripping down in her bed, but no, she's not over it yet.  She may wear backwards footie jammies up until her wedding night.  Fine by me!!

You take Katie!!

What is it with this girl?  Aren't girls supposed to be easier at this age than boys?  What is wrong with my daughter?  She can be such a MONSTER sometimes!!!

Every time we are in the car with Katie lately, she is screaming at the top of her lungs.  This what we have to resort to in order to get anywhere with out a problem.  She can not start out a car ride with any food, drink, shoes, toys, dolls or blankets.  If we let her start with any of these items, she throws them on the floor and then screams until she gets them back, just to throw them all over again.

We have tried giving her a portable DVD player, but she just pushes the buttons on it until the movie stops playing and then she starts screaming, again.

It has gotten to the point where I don't want to be in the car with her and dad can't handle drives at all with her.  He might have an aneurism next time she screams.

We recently went camping and had to drive 5 hours each way.  The boys went with my sister in her car so Katie wouldn't fight with any of them and I could focus on keeping her happy.  She still managed to scream 2 hours straight each way.

I have also tried completely ignoring her when she starts to get this way, but she just screams louder and louder.  Last night she started a new game.  She takes her arms out of the car seat straps, which then makes her uncomfortable and unsafe, so I have to pull the car over and strap her back in.

I am tempted to never leave the house with her again until she is out of the "terrible-two" phase, but she has only been 2 for 6 weeks and the "terrible-twos" usually last until they turn 4.  Or at least it did with the boys who really didn't have a bad "terrible-two" phase.

Anyone want a completely adorable little girl for 98 weeks?  She does have some sweet times, like when I come home from work and she runs up to me screaming "MOMMY" and gives me a hug, but her sweetest time is when she is asleep.
 

Katie's fit

Katie's Fit...again  (Click here)

Oh KayTay...She is the queen of throwing temper tantrums in our house.  My husband would tell you she learned it from me.  What ever.  Above is a link to her latest fit.  I can't help but record them sometimes.  In this one she was just ticked off.  I ask her if she wants french fries and she says, "No.  I want fre-frie"  I tell her I love her and she says back "Uff-oo mommy".  So even in the midst of a melt down, she still loves me.

I showed her this video last night and she stared at it like it was someone else.  Maybe she didn't remember having that fit.

Their own language

I wish I could remember more of these from when Jordan was little, but that was a VERY long time ago. 

As kids are learning to speak, they don't always say things correctly.  The way they do say certain words or phrases are usually unique to each child and only the parents know what they are actually saying. I wanted to make sure I document some of my own children's language.

Nick: (Nickinese)
Watch me:  "Watch at me"
I love you:  "Wall-oo"
Last night or Yesterday:  "Last day"
Katie:  "Kay-tay" (must be said in a Forest Gump voice)

Katie:  (Katese)
I love you:  "Uff-oo"
Blankie:  "Gankie"
Katie:  "Titi"
Grandpa:  "Gampy"

Jordan spoke very early and very clearly.  I don't remember any of this kind of language for him and I am really bummed about that.  I do remember him trying to sing the Bob the Builder song and it came out "Boss-a-boss-aa".  He would get so mad when we didn't know what he was singing.  Thanks to a trip to Chuck E Cheese we were finally able to solve that puzzle. 

Jordan was always one to get songs wrong and those are what I remember the most.  Another fine example would be, "Subway...Eat Fresh".  Jordan's version was, "Someone...Eat Fish". 

Such cuteness!

She'll make a good mom

I took Katie and Nick for a walk last night.  Katie pushed her baby in the stroller all the way to the babysitters house on the next street over.  We stopped and played at Jenn's for a little while and then headed home.  Half way home Katie stopped pushing her stroller, went around to the front of it and was tending to her baby.  She pulled her out and started rocking her and patting her back.  I asked her what was wrong and she said that baby was crying and baby was sad.  So she had to walk carrying her a little ways.  Then eventually baby must have gotten better so she went back in to the stroller for the rest of the walk home.

Totally out of the running

Saturday morning Nick woke up and somehow found his way to my bedroom.  He woke me up by saying, in a panicked voice, "I can't open my eyes!!"  His eyes were completely crusted shut.  He woke up the same way the next morning also. 

Then in the afternoon Sunday Nick took a nap on the couch and woke up screaming about his cheek hurting.  He put an ice pack on his cheek and cried/screamed for an hour.  We decided it might be something worth checking out, even though I have a general rule that I don't go to urgent care on the weekends.  When the kids are doing something dangerous, I don't go on weekdays or evenings either.   

Eddie rushed him to urgent care and he was diagnosed with a severe ear infection and an eye infection.  Poor thing.

I stayed home with Nick yesterday, which turned out perfect because my babysitter called in sick also and then at 9:30 I got a call from Jordan's school that he was throwing up. 

TODAY...Nick looks much better and feels better, so off to school with him.  Jordan threw up last night so I left him at home for the day.  But Katie woke up with the skin around her eyes looking rather pinkish.  She didn't have a crusty eye though.  I didn't know if she had hit her eye yesterday and it was a bruise or what.  So I took her to the babysitters and asked her opinion and let her make the decision to take Katie or not.  She, lovingly, let her stay. 

Now I just got a text from the babysitter that says that Katie's eye seems to be getting worse.  I should have just stayed home with her.  I am such a bad mom.

I'm totally out of the running now for mother of the year. Oh well...maybe next year, but I wouldn't hold your breath.

Ghosts and strangers

While staying at my sisters house Jordan asked if he could take Nick to the park in the complex. It's not far from the apartment but this would still be a big responsibility for both of them.

I decided it would be a good opportunity to start to talk to Nick about strangers. I asked Nick if he knew what a stranger is. He said no, of couse, because mommy hasn't mentioned strangers to him before. Do I deserve mother of the year yet?

I explained to him that strangers are anyone he meets that he doesn't know and he should never talk to a stranger. He smartly responded with, "We shouldn't talk to ghosts either."

I'm not quite sure my message got across the way I wanted it to. So Jordan thought he would give it a try. Jordan said, "Nick, just think of all strangers as ghosts."  Then Nick did a little wiggle while saying "ooooooooh.  Oooooooooooooh"

I still don't think he understands anything about strangers, but if he ever meets a ghost he should be perfectly safe.

Happy Birthday Nick

4 years ago today I was getting out of bed at 8 am (that would be sleeping in today) when my water broke.  The baby wasn't due for another 5 and a half weeks, but when your water breaks...you get a baby.

I remember the drive to the hospital when my husband kept saying things that started with the phrase, "If this baby comes today..."  I finally said to him, "Eddie, my water broke.  This baby IS coming TODAY!!!"

15 hours later Nicholas Edward entered our world with no complications. He was born 8 minutes before our first anniversary.

While I was in the hospital my other son, Jordan, was visiting his father for the weekend. His grandma gave him the news that his baby brother had been born. They happened to be celebrating Cinco De Mayo so Jordan asked his grandma if his new brother was a Mexican.

Sounds logical to an 8 year old.

Happy 4th Birthday Nicholas!!

DooDah Parade

This past weekend, my mom and I took the boys to the doodah parade in Pasadena.  This is a very strange and non-traditional annual parade.  Anyone can be a part of it and there are some CRAZY characters in it.  The spectators even dress up for it.  My mom was wearing her pink cowgirl hat with a pretty princess tiara on it along with her martini shaped sunglasses.  One of the traditions of this parade is to throw tortillas and marshmallows.

Nick and Jordan really got in to the tortilla throwing.  They would run out in to the street, grab up some tortillas and then sit down and throw them again.  They were having a blast.

At one point, my moms sunglasses caught the eye of the (very handsome) Chief of Police.  He was talking to her and telling her she should get up and walk in the parade for a few blocks (the parade is only 2 block long).  All of a sudden, Nick lobs a tortilla at the chiefs head.  Oh holy crap!!!!  We are all going to jail now. 

My mom said to him, "I'm so sorry.  I don't really know him".  The officer laughed and said, "That's ok, neither do I."  I think he was flirting with her and she should have said she would make up for her grandson throwing tortillas at him by taking him to dinner. 

I can't drive...sixty fiiiiive!

I am not usually one to drive much over the speed limit.  I may do 5 mph over the limit, but not very often do I go any faster than that.  It is illegal ya know.  I also stay in one lane most of the time, one over from the far right.  No need to change lanes unless someone is going way under the speed limit.  I know, I drive like an 85 year old lady on her way to church.  I don't care.  But today...I was SPEEDING!!!!  I couldn't get to my moms house fast enough.  At one point I looked down and was doing 18 mph over the speed limit.  I didn't give a crap. (oh, for shame!!)

It takes about an hour to get to my moms house from mine.  I was barely backed out of the drive way when Nick asked how close we were to grandmas.  He had been asking to go to her house for 3 days at this point.  I know he was anxious. 

I try to make sure I am plenty prepared for long car rides.  I have blankies and sippy cups ready.  I have music because it always seems to calm Katie when she is too upset to sit in the car any longer.  I started off this trip thinking it would be a nice hour drive. 

HA!  First, Katie only wanted to lay in the grass when I was trying to get her loaded in to the car.  Nick's car seat wasn't in the totally awesome mini-van.  After getting Nick's car seat and Katie loaded in, with threats of staying in the house instead of going bye-bye, I realized I needed gas, and an iced coffee. 

My ATM card wouldn't work at the pump.  So I went inside to get my coffee and pay for some gas.  The freakin card still wouldn't work.  We tried 3 times.  Debit and credit.  No such luck.  So I got out of line, went to the ATM 10 feet away and pulled out money, with the same stinking card.  What ever!!!  Should have known that was a sign to just turn around and go home.  Maybe try again some other time.

Ok.  Gas in and we are on the road.  Nick asks again how long it is going to take and are we close yet.  "No, Nick.  We haven't left the gas station yet."

Once we got on the freeway, we came to a stop.  Oh joy!!!!  A half hour later we passed the 4 car accident, on the other side of the freeway.  About the time we start moving at a normal speed, I think it is great that Nick starts sharing his hot wheels cars with Katie.  Until she starts pelting them at me.  After the 4th car and 3rd time telling them to not throw cars at mommy, I turned around and yelled, "YOU THROW ONE MORE CAR AT ME AND I AM GOING PULL OVER, SPANK YOU AND TAKE YOU HOME.  NO GRANDMAS HOUSE!!!"  Not one more car was thrown.

But Katie was not happy.  So she started in with asking for her blankie blankie blankie, then doggie doggie doggie, then juice juice juice.  This, of course, all came out as "Gankie gankie gankie", "goggie goggie goggie", and "choos choos choos"  not to be confused with "shoo shoo shoo" which she had taken off and thrown at me also.

My lovely and patient son Jordan kept handing Katie what ever she asked for.  Then she would throw it again, ask for it again, watch Jordan strugle to reach for it, hand it to her, throw it again, ask for it again, watch Jordan...you get the picture.

After 15 minutes of this, I was ready to pull my hair out.  So Nick decides he is going to start asking again if we are close and start complaining of his back hurting.  I don't know what his strategy is in complaining about his back, it never gets us anywhere any faster.  It never makes me pull the car over and let him out, but he still complains about his back hurting almost evertime we get in the car for more than 5 minutes.

So as I get about 20 minutes from my moms house, I look down at the speedometer and realize I am doing 18 mph over the speed limit, check my mirrors for cops, turn the radio up to 11 and keep on going at that speed while contemplating going faster just to get out of this car and away from these monsters.

I wonder how much it would cost to put them in a taxi to get them home on Sunday...

ADHD Noises

Jordan has struggled with ADHD his whole life. After many years of fighting the idea of medication, we finally gave it a try. I cried the next day because I felt I had done him a diservice in not getting him help sooner.

Even though the meds are tiny little miracles in pill form, early in the morning, before they have had a chance to kick in, the ADHD noises fill our home. It can sound like a tornado going through a zoo. Jordan makes this screeching sound that sounds like someone has stepped on a dog. He screams, yells, laughs, screeches and makes other indescribable noises, all while running and jumping through the house. But once the little miracle pill kicks in, he is calm and can carry on a conversation with out running around in circles first.

This struggle with ADHD has been rough, but I wouldn't change a thing about him. He is perfect to me. Even if I have to ask him to do something 27 times before he actually does it. Last night we went to one of those pottery painting places and had a great couple of hours just being calm and painting. A very memorable moment for me. I hope it was for him also.

Big Head Nick & the Monsters

Nick was born 5 and half weeks early. He was tiny when we first came home with him. Premie clothes were too big on him. It was adorable. Then he started to grow...and grow...and grow.

His head was growing the fastest. It was getting huge!!! Not only huge, but funky shaped too. It was flattening out in the back and becoming lop sided. His head was more wide than long. Kind of like that football head shaped character on TV. Nick ended up in a helmet for several months. We started this process a little later than we should have, but that was because his doctor kept saying his head would round out once he started rolling over. Yah right!!!

Now a days, his head is not so flat, but not round either. My husband and I have arguments over Nick's hair cuts because I want his hair longer to help hide his weird shaped head and Eddie's not satisfied unless it is a buzz cut.

We were never embarrassed about the helmet and we aren't embarrassed about his head now. We met a lot of people out and about who would come up to us and tell us about their kid who was in a helmet too. It was nice. Here is our problem though. Nick is a giant. He is about 6 inches taller than all the other 3 year olds at daycare. When we went to the dentist she asked what school he goes to. I told her he didn't go to school and she gave me a weird look. I had to explain that he was only 3. She was surprised because the last kid she had in her chair was the same size and was 5 years old. We get this alot.

Nick's cousin, who is only 3 weeks younger, just started wearing size 3t. Nick is wearing a 5-6. He has to wear a lot of button up shirts because his head is so big, we can't get it through the head hole of many shirts. When his head gets stuck taking a shirt off, he looks at me, shaking his head and says, "Giant head!"

We think it is cute and we try to make him see it as a special part of him. Hopefully the kids at school won't make too much fun of his giant head and that when they do, he can laugh along with them because we have been laughing at home about his head since he was helmet boy.

Starting Somewhere

I have to have a starting point somewhere, so I thought I would start with some stories from memory just to get them down and have them to use against the kids when they teenagers.

Nick:
Husband and I were watching a movie this past weekend and Nick (3) was eating his hamburger in the play room. Suddenly Nick walks in to the living room to interupt our movie for the 5th time in 7 minutes. He has this look on his face like the world has come to a stop. His arms are stretched out to the sides (he's part Italian, he can't talk with out using his hands) and there is half of his hamburger in one hand. We ask him what is wrong and he says, "THAT man put PICKELS on my hamburger!!!" He then brought the hamburger to the table and picked the pickles off of it. As he walked away, he said, "Man. I am SO pissed about the pickles!". It is really hard to reprimand a child for swearing when you are laughing uncontrollably.

Katie:
Dearest lovely Katie (Thing 3). She has to wear her pajamas backwards. We have to cut the feet out of her onesie jammies and put them on her backwards. Why, you ask? She likes to play in her poop!! The boys were never this messy. I just don't get it. The first couple of times, it happened during her nap time. I would put her down with her clothes on, then get her up a few hours later and she would be NAKED, freezing and playing in her poop. So we started puting her down for her naps in her jammies. This worked for a about a week. Then she figured out how to unzip her jammies and take off her diaper and play in her poop. It's like she saves up pooping until it is nap time just so she can play in it. The final straw came when we got her up from a nap and she looked like she had been out mudding. She had thick poop all over her legs, face, fingers. Daddy took her to the bath while I did bed room cleaning duty (doody). The whole house smelled like poop. So, that night we cut the feet our of her jammies and put them on her backwards. No poop playing since we then. Hopefully she will out grow this phase before she gets married.

Jordan:
Thing 1 is now 12 and tries not to be so funny anymore. But he has had his moments as a kid. One of the most memorable is his "WORST DAY EVER!" We were building an addition on the back of our house and had some constuction workers there that day. I came home from work and Jordan was in the front yard. His bike was in the middle of the driveway (where it belongs, duh!) so I honked for him to move it. Suddenly he drops to the ground and starts crying. I jump out of my totally awesome mini-van and go over to see what is wrong. He has stepped on something, but he was wearing socks and tried to take the sock off. The sock was being held to his toe by what ever it is he stepped on. My husband and I carried him in to the house and cut away the sock so we could take a look at the "object".

This was the weirdest thing I have ever seen. Neither of us can tell what it is. It has about 4 or 5 metal posts sticking straight out of it. While my husband and I try to decide what to do, Jordan is screaming on the couch, "THIS IS THE WORST DAY EVER!!", "Am I going to have this thing in me for the rest of my life?", "Am I going to be able to walk again?" Who knew a 9 year old could be so dramatic??

Since we couldn't figure out what this "object" was and we had construction going on at the house, we decided to take him to urgent care. We were afraid that it could be some crazy construction nail that had barbs in it and just yanking it out would be bad. Urgent care docs couldn't tell what it was right away either, so we did an x-ray. It turns out to be an earing. It was a stud earing with out the stone in it. The post of the earing went right through the center of his big toe. A big doctor came in with a pair of pliars, grabbed Jordan's foot and YANKED that sucker right out.

He didn't have to have it in him the rest of his life, he did walk again and I am sure he has had worse days since then.