Starting Somewhere

I have to have a starting point somewhere, so I thought I would start with some stories from memory just to get them down and have them to use against the kids when they teenagers.

Nick:
Husband and I were watching a movie this past weekend and Nick (3) was eating his hamburger in the play room. Suddenly Nick walks in to the living room to interupt our movie for the 5th time in 7 minutes. He has this look on his face like the world has come to a stop. His arms are stretched out to the sides (he's part Italian, he can't talk with out using his hands) and there is half of his hamburger in one hand. We ask him what is wrong and he says, "THAT man put PICKELS on my hamburger!!!" He then brought the hamburger to the table and picked the pickles off of it. As he walked away, he said, "Man. I am SO pissed about the pickles!". It is really hard to reprimand a child for swearing when you are laughing uncontrollably.

Katie:
Dearest lovely Katie (Thing 3). She has to wear her pajamas backwards. We have to cut the feet out of her onesie jammies and put them on her backwards. Why, you ask? She likes to play in her poop!! The boys were never this messy. I just don't get it. The first couple of times, it happened during her nap time. I would put her down with her clothes on, then get her up a few hours later and she would be NAKED, freezing and playing in her poop. So we started puting her down for her naps in her jammies. This worked for a about a week. Then she figured out how to unzip her jammies and take off her diaper and play in her poop. It's like she saves up pooping until it is nap time just so she can play in it. The final straw came when we got her up from a nap and she looked like she had been out mudding. She had thick poop all over her legs, face, fingers. Daddy took her to the bath while I did bed room cleaning duty (doody). The whole house smelled like poop. So, that night we cut the feet our of her jammies and put them on her backwards. No poop playing since we then. Hopefully she will out grow this phase before she gets married.

Jordan:
Thing 1 is now 12 and tries not to be so funny anymore. But he has had his moments as a kid. One of the most memorable is his "WORST DAY EVER!" We were building an addition on the back of our house and had some constuction workers there that day. I came home from work and Jordan was in the front yard. His bike was in the middle of the driveway (where it belongs, duh!) so I honked for him to move it. Suddenly he drops to the ground and starts crying. I jump out of my totally awesome mini-van and go over to see what is wrong. He has stepped on something, but he was wearing socks and tried to take the sock off. The sock was being held to his toe by what ever it is he stepped on. My husband and I carried him in to the house and cut away the sock so we could take a look at the "object".

This was the weirdest thing I have ever seen. Neither of us can tell what it is. It has about 4 or 5 metal posts sticking straight out of it. While my husband and I try to decide what to do, Jordan is screaming on the couch, "THIS IS THE WORST DAY EVER!!", "Am I going to have this thing in me for the rest of my life?", "Am I going to be able to walk again?" Who knew a 9 year old could be so dramatic??

Since we couldn't figure out what this "object" was and we had construction going on at the house, we decided to take him to urgent care. We were afraid that it could be some crazy construction nail that had barbs in it and just yanking it out would be bad. Urgent care docs couldn't tell what it was right away either, so we did an x-ray. It turns out to be an earing. It was a stud earing with out the stone in it. The post of the earing went right through the center of his big toe. A big doctor came in with a pair of pliars, grabbed Jordan's foot and YANKED that sucker right out.

He didn't have to have it in him the rest of his life, he did walk again and I am sure he has had worse days since then.